tHE uSA NEEDS HELP
DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING WRITEN ON THIS SITE SERIOUS THIS IS SATIRE!
AFTER 8PM WE ARE CLOSED!
YOU'VE REACHED US AFTER HOURS
THE PRESIDENT is either on vacation or asleep, but don't worry his handlers (who are they?) are writing on FLASH CARDS all what our adversaries want.
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PAST HIS BEDTIME!
We are sorry to inform you that our commander in chief is probably asleep by now.
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